Your Essential Guide to Re-Socialization

Herd immunity will arrive eventually. In preparation, Team Getaway offers this Essential Guide to Re-Socialization: 

1. Staying Present: Sadly, real life has no mute or video-off button. Remember to remove yourself from dull conversations with a polite excuse.
2. Hygiene: Although medieval hygiene is not as repulsive as we thought, do not change your post-hermitage shower habits without consulting a spouse, a friend, or a beagle.
3. Pants: Wear ‘em.
4. Flatulence: Your new habits will lose old friendships. Treat the world like an elevator - with extra vigilance.
5. Etiquette: When neighbors receive their vaccinations before you, the proper response is “Congratulations,” not “Dammit, who did you pay off?” 
6. Driving: Enjoy it while you can. There is a rush hour in your future.
7. Watch Your Mouth: Without a mask, people can see you scowl. Practice using your happy face when you don’t really mean it.
8. Greetings: Upon hugging your first friend in a year, remember to let go. Try not to sob.

This Essential Guide to Re-Socialization will do you absolutely no good. After vaccination, we still have to stay masked, distanced, and outdoors.